"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize