dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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