who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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