so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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