puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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