It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
