That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
