Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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