JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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