marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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