Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
