How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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