Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
