I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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