So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
