i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
