i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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