omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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