butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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