My liver just broke up with me...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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