please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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