I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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