So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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