This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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