You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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