you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
