Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
