I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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