hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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