Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
