brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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