you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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