So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
