I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
