I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
