I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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