come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
