i'm signing you up for texting rehab
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
