I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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