so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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