i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
