careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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