atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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