i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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