Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
