I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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