i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
