So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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