she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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