The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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