You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize