Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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