Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
