She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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