did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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