the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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