I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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