omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
