btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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