I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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