Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
