I seem to have left my pride at pride
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
