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I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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