how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I smell like Dick and happiness
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
