It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.