Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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