my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.