Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
